You're not an effin' architect!

I wish I knew the author of the following quote, but its one I use often:

Everyone trusts their doctor and everybody takes the advice of their lawyer, but everybody is an architect.

I know it seems so simple. A little space here, a little space there, add some doors, windows, slap on a roof... et voila! But there is a good reason that it takes 6 years of schooling and 4 more years of internship to become an architect -- there is so much more to the process!

I blame those awful plan books you can buy in the supermarket for $4.99 for the awful state of architecture... you know the ones... 8000 floor plans except about 7000 of them are all the same plan with only slight variations. You just flip open the book, pick a plan and if you don't like part of it, you just pick another, and slap the two together. The problem is, if it didn't look bad enough to begin with, it probably looks like you slapped two plans together and it probably looks like somebody who wasn't an architect designed it.

But the irony is that the general populous is blissfully unaware of their shit-itude. Well, not really -- they pretend to be, but they're really not. They know it looks bad; they just can't admit that they don't have enough imagination to do it right.

Think about it: these are the same people who buy the "legitimate" design magazines and "ooo" and "aww" at how wonderful those homes in the pictures look. They know what they really like and what really looks good. But how can they gush over homes and pictures in these magazines and then completely ignore them when it comes time to build their own home? Here's the secret: 9 times out of 10, an architect or another design professional (like an interior designer) were involved in the magazine projects from the start.

There. The secret is out, everybody. The gig's up. You're not an effin' architect! So quit pretending you are and quit being so freakin' cheap. Just dole out the bucks and hire a professional to do it right. You'll be far happier with the end product... or at least you won't need the Prozac anymore to make yourself believe that your "design" is great. Sure some non-architects can do it, but good design is far more than picking a plan out of a book. And here's a fact that it seems everyone is unaware of: what is seen as simple (in architecture, anyway) is often the most difficult.

...and studies show that an architect-designed home makes the owners happier, they live in their houses longer, and they make a larger profit when they sell. It is well worth the investment and you won't have to fake happiness anymore!